Philosophy
Divorce: Helping clients to reduce the overall costs of divorce through education and mediation
The approach is simple: working with clients to get them through a potential “messy” divorce by reducing conflict through helping clients to understand their rights and how they are applied in a family law matter.
The model utilized for resolving legal disputes as applied to relationship transitions tends to be inadequate despite whatever usefulness it provides in protecting business interests, between parties that are not in an intimate relationship.
That adversarial system — founded upon conflict — ignores the consequences to the individuals and their families when every issue is turned into a contest.
The litigious method encourages decent people to become obsessed with winning at any cost, which may wind up costing them more than the money they spend.
A high conflict divorce is expensive and destructive beyond reason.
More often than not, such conflict and destruction is passed on to the next generation.
The experience is then repeated when the children of the divorce then have to work through their parents' rage (and now their own) over the course of their lives.
Why the Traditional System Falls Short
A Better Path: Family-Focused Resolution
A law and mediation practice focused on family law dispute resolution is an honorable venture.
There are some couples who are able to cooperate with one another to conclude their divorces in a reasonable time frame and without too much emotional tumoil.
Cooperation in reaching a settlement does not mean that one or the other party foregoes any legal rights they may have “just to be done,” rather it means that each party cooperates by dealing fairly with the other, and that each is satisfied with the decision they made.
Often couples will begin the process of divorce with the intent of cooperating and concluding their matters quickly; however, they end up requiring court intervention as the only solution to resolving their relationship conflicts when misunderstandings develop during the settlement process.
There are not many people who will benefit in the long run by choosing to engage in lengthy litigation to resolve their dissolution (divorce) through the court process.
There are times when people need a form of zealous advocacy, and a lawyer can contribute greatly to their safety through vigorous representation.
Additionally, there are some lawyers who encourage conflict between parties through misconceived aggression, or some just don't know how to integrate another approach into the “mix” that may be more beneficial to everyone in the long run.
Perhaps, it is not their fault: lawyers are trained to advocate for their clients, and some take the term “zealous representation” to new levels that do not always serve their client’s best interests.
Some lawyers realize that this “old” style of practice misses the point and causes avoidable misery to parties seeking to dissolve their marriages and get on with their lives.
These attorneys remembered why they became family law professionals which is because there is something in them that resonates with the suffering of others.
One such attorney was Steven Keeva who is credited with his observations regarding why a lawyer would choose this field of law,
“[t]o the extent that you enter it as a calling, the practice of law is about hunger - the hunger for resolution; for healing the lives of individuals,... and communities; for enabling society to function harmoniously and productively; and ultimately, for justice.”
Where Advocacy Meets Peace-building
I aspire to be such a lawyer.
Although I have practiced law for a shorter period than some of my counterparts, I have substantial knowledge related to the fields of healing, construction, real estate, sports, and other areas of life.
I spent many years volunteering for different non-profit groups serving in local, regional and state leadership positions where sometimes lively discussions occurred prior to reaching resolutions.
My experiences have shown me that mediation is a valuable tool in the resolution of disputes, no matter what area of the law in which the matter arises.
At the Law and Mediation Office of Destinee Tartuffe, I believe that it is possible to be both an advocate and a peacemaker without sacrificing the needs and safety of those I serve.
Even in the most deeply entrenched and highly conflicted family law disputes, sensitivity towards the trauma of divorce and the ending of a relationship can restore dignity to the process for both sides.
The experiences of many clients may be positively shaped by the attitude of their legal representative.
There are satisfactory alternatives to high conflict divorce and all its downstream consequences.
Please contact the Law and Mediation Office of Destinee Tartuffe to find out more information and to schedule an appointment.